Dealing With Picky Eaters

Picky eating from an OT perspective

Tips for dealing with picky eaters:

1. Understand WHY your kid is fussy
2. Take baby steps to a healthy diet
3. Respect your child's responses
4. One bite at a time
5. Try incentives
6. This, too, shall pass
7. Pick your battles and count your victories

Dealing With Picky Eaters From An OT Perspective

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) can affect a child's eating habits in different ways:

• a child who is over-sensitive to sensations in the mouth (also called oral defensiveness), may gag on solid food and avoid strongly flavored food. Food which is lumpy can also cause gagging.
• some kids are oversensitive to the smells of food, and seek out bland food as a result.
• a child who is sensory-seeking may dislike bland or soft food and only eat food which is very crunchy, textured or highly flavored.
• a child who has a sensory-based motor disorder may struggle with the coordination skills needed to use a spoon or knife and fork, and may avoid food that takes too much effort to eat.
• some children with low muscle tone or poor oral motor coordination may struggle to chew and swallow, and may therefore prefer food which does not need to be chewed.

If this is a new concept for you, and you realize your child may be struggling with SPD in any area, then find a sensory-trained occupational therapist in your area to assess your child.

You can also read these excellent books on Sensory Processing Disorder to find out more:

(These are affiliate links to books on Amazon that I personally use and recommend. I may receive a small commission if you purchase something through my links.)

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Tips for Dealing with Picky Eaters

There are no tried and trusted methods that will work for every child. But here are some tips and ideas that you can try.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, just a few that worked for dealing with picky eaters in my own family as well as others I have worked with!

1) Understand WHY Your Child Is Fussy

I think one of the most underrated steps in dealing with picky eaters is to try and understand WHY they are picky.

If you understand WHY your child is struggling with food, it becomes less personal. I know how easy it is to feel upset when your child rejects your painstakingly prepared meal, but usually the issue is beyond their control, especially when they are young.

• A child who is "over-responsive" to sensations (this usually affects other areas of their life as well, such as dressing, reactions to noisy environments) experiences almost all sensation as threatening. This response is on a subconscious level and cannot be overridden by reason when they are young.
  Gagging and even vomiting are primitive responses to a taste, smell or tactile (texture) sensation perceived by the brain as dangerous.

• Another reason why some kids are fussy is simply because chewing and swallowing is exhausting for them. One of our kids was a picky eater, and incredibly slow to finish any meals, even meals he liked.

When he was about 11, we took him to be evaluated for orthodontic braces, and one of the first things the orthodontist did, was to give him an orthodontic plate and got him to practice a swallowing technique.

Turns out that our son's slightly recessive lower jaw had made chewing tiring for him. Combined with a poor swallowing technique, this had resulted in slow eating, and avoidance of foods that required chewing.

If your child is a slow eater, and avoids meat and other chewy food, it may be worth investigating whether there are orthodontic and swallowing issues.

The most important thing is to try and understand WHY your child may be fussy, and don't take it personally.

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2) Take Baby Steps To A Healthy Diet

Our ultimate goal should be for our kids to eat a healthy balanced diet!

We are bombarded by a variety of food choices in our modern age, but our ultimate goal is not to have a child who eats everything, but one who is healthy, and who makes healthy food choices.

1) Make a list of everything they DO eat (a good list to have on hand for caregivers).

2) Assess which nutrients are lacking.

• Is there a lack of protein and vegetables/fruit?
• Too much sugar?
• Too much salt?

3) Can you offer healthier choices to current foods?

• Can you switch to a healthier brand of peanut butter?
• A cereal that is just as crunchy but has more fiber?
• Can you mix the sugary cereal with a brand with less sugar?
• If peanuts are an acceptable food, can you introduce almonds and other nuts?
• If raw apple is acceptable, can you introduce a vegetable or fruit with a similar texture (eg raw carrots)?

4) Can you change the way food is presented? Be creative in how you present the food - try making pictures, cutting it into fun shapes etc.

5) Can you change who does the feeding?

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3) Respect Your Child's Responses

• If your child cannot handle soft squishy food right now, then don't force it. Seek help to work on the underlying reasons for the aversion (Sensory Processing Disorder).
• If your child needs the food to "not touch", then buy some picnic plates with compartments.

• If your child hates sauces, dish a portion up before you add the sauce to the pot.
• If your child struggles with fine motor skills or has poor coordination skills, invest in some eating aids to help with mealtimes.
  
• At least one meal each day should be one that your child enjoys - don't make every meal hard for your child and for you.
  
• Don't punish your child for being unable to eat something, (but obviously don't accept willful misbehavior like dumping the food on the floor).
  

• Give a choice where possible. We often had "buffet style" meals on Sundays, where our kids could choose their food from a range of healthy options. This worked brilliantly for guests with dietary issues as well as for our fussy eaters!
  

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4) One Bite At A Time

A key concept in dealing with picky eaters is to introduce one new food at a time, over a period of time, and to not ask your child to eat a plate full of new food!

This means that most of the plate should contain food that your child is happy to eat, with a small portion of the plate containing the "new" food.

With younger kids (under 4 years), I would just keep offering new foods, but not forcing them to eat it if they say no.

Once your child is emotionally mature enough for you to negotiate/reason with them (usually between the ages of 3-5 years), then you can start using incentives and introducing a new food to 'try".

This food needs to be tried ("you don't have to like it, you just have to try it") before the rest of the meal can be consumed. Although there are some experts who don't think this is a helpful way for dealing with picky eaters, it is a method which did work for one of the kids in our family.

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5) Try Incentives

6) This, Too, Shall Pass!

A word of encouragement to those dealing with picky eaters:

It DOES get better! 

Although he struggled with the textures of food for many years, and his diet was a little less varied than that of his peers, it was still healthy and balanced. Every year, he added a couple new foods to his diet. As a Boy Scout, he had to learn to eat the camp meals, as well as cook his own food, and he now eats a much more varied diet. He still prefers simple foods but is mature enough to try other foods.

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7) Pick Your Battles and Count Your Victories!

Parenting is not easy, but it is not meant to be a battlefield.

As parents, we need to beware of forcing our kids to conform to what "society" expects of them, in order to save our own pride.

It really helped me to have a standard explanation of SPD that I could use, to explain to anyone who asked. More people are aware of sensory processing these days, and saying "he has sensory issues" usually meets with an understanding nod or a commiserating smile!

I also learnt to rejoice in what my kids COULD do well. So what if they are nibbling on bread, while the others are eating sausage and mash? It was more important to me that they were kind and considerate in their playtime with others.

Don't make mealtime another battleground that they have to face - for their sanity and yours.

And count your victories! I actually took notes of these particular victories :-) 

• 2012 was the year my boys learned to eat potatoes and carrots in decent portions, as well as brown rice (instead of white)
• 2013 was the year my younger son learned to eat bananas!

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