I am ready to scream!

by Suzzannah
(Georgia)

Hi Fellow Moms:

May 10th 2010, we adopted a 4 year old with a multitude of physical, emotional and developmental problems. Memorial Day weekend we spent having heart surgery. Thank God he is better. The surgery resulted in complete recovery. Then we were sent for developmental diagnoses. I swear it is the "Disorder of the Day." He has fine and gross motor delays of 2 years, visual and verbal processing disorders, and dyslexia. For the first 3 years of his life he was neglected and abused. Ultimately, the state took him away and gave custody to his maternal grandmother. She contacted an adoption attorney in our area who, I knew and he came to live with us. We also have a 6 year old son who had some fine and gross motor delays, but is entering second grade. Both boys are extremely bright, but I am overwhelmed homeschooling and going to therapy. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I am afraid if I take a break from OT/PT, D will lose all the progress he has made. Presently, it takes me 40 minutes each way to go to therapy and then our sessions are 1 hour. The pediatrician want him to go to karate too. He feels D needs to do something "normal". Where is the balance of taking care of the boys and taking care of myself. As a mom, I know balance isn't always possible, but can we slow down a bit?

Thanks,
Suzz

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Hang in there!
by: OT Mom

You are going through an incredibly demanding and frustrating time and I have to say that your kids are very blessed to have a dedicated mom like you. But you are right, you are not superwoman, and it does not do your kids any good to have a burnt out mommy.

My advice is to to to the physio and OT and speak to them. In the past when I have was treating kids who were having multiple interventions like yours, and mom was burning out, then we suggested taking a break from one therapy for a quarter and then taking a break from the other therapy in the next quarter. It really made a huge difference to the quality of life of mom and kid.

Your child's therapy is a long term process, especially when the difficulties are deep rooted as you describe, so taking a break for a quarter should not be detrimental. And having a happier mom will help all round.

About the referral to karate - although the pediatrician has a point about a "normal" activity, maybe take a look and see what other "normal activities can be done as a whole family that will benefit you as well (in other words you are not sitting in the car waiting) - like a walking group, a weekly picnic at the park with another family... try your local homeschooling support group to see what regular activities your child can join in with while you get some support from the other moms?

Hope that helps?

What do other moms suggest??
Thanks for the encouragement!
by: Suzz

I really appreciate your kind words. I really needed those words. To top off everything we have just been transferred. Fortunately, we are moving to my hometown and my sweet cousin is a PT. Although moving is hard, I will have lots of support of my cousins and my in-laws(They are godsends). Thanks for your blog.
Glad you will have support!
by: OT Mom

Sounds like the move will be a really good one once all the packing and unpacking is out of the way!

I really hope you get some time out soon, and remember that you are not alone in your struggles.

Good luck and God bless,
Tracey
How are things going now?
by: OT Mom

Hi Suzzanah,
How are things going now?
:-)

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